Walk away…
Bismillah…
Dah lama sgt aku tak jot something here. Actually friendster sendiri pun aku tak masuk. Yep, lots and lots of thing happened and still happening to me lately. Start from beginning of this year. Suppose i be at one particular place rite now. But things happened and I don’t. Tapi tu la, itu la life aku skang.
Kadang2 kita cuba nak jadi yg terbaik utk diri sendiri and other people. But still tak bole nak please suma org kan.. So how? Still nak trying or just quit trying? I don’t know. But the thing is, takkan nak selamanya nak try? Aku pun nak proceed doing something. Not just trying to do something. Bila people urge aku do something which is out of my ‘presciption’, i learn to do it. Tapi tak suma org bole terima yg the fact we still in the process of learning. Sometimes people tak bagi chance pun pada kita utk prove yg kita ni bole. Yes, we need time, but at least we learn. Yang tak bestnya bila kita tau kita betul and still org anggap kita salah. Yang dia tau suma salah tu fingerpoint pada kita and suma org akan anggap yg they doing the very right thing. But the fact is, hanya aku saja yg tau setakat mana “the very right thing” yang dia buat tu. Yeah rite, “the very right thing la sgt”.
Ntah la, 2 3 months ago, I was so comfortable with the situation. Tapi lama2 aku rasa aku tak fit sgt2 dgn situation tu. Ntah la pasai apa, seriously aku tak fit. Aku demands nak do something else pulak. Aku tak bersyukur? Aku bersyukur sgt2. But the thing is, lately apa saja yang aku buat sgt menjadi kesalahan pada dia. Ada saja benda yang tak kena pada dia. Buat salah, tak buat pun salah. Aku mmg tak tau pasai pa. Bored sgt2. Damn bored! Kadang2 rasa cam nak walk away saja. Walk away from them! Tapi tu la, sampai bila nak walk away? Y tak nak fight utk diri sendiri? Y tak nak stand for yourself? Aku asyik tanya soalan tu. But aku sendiri pun actually tak dak gut nak buat cam tu. Cuma now I’m still holding on and still not walk away from all things. Sampai bila? Wallahu’alam.. let HIM decide…
